“Are we there yet?”
This question conjures images of 4 or 5-year-old children in the backseat of a car, waiting, impatiently, for fun to begin on a long trip. You pull out toys, try to distract them with purple cars and games, anything to keep that inevitable question at bay. They shuffle in their seats, argue back and forth, play for a while, sometimes sing along with the radio, look out the window at passing cars, play “I spy”, and argue some more. Eventually they sleep soon to wake up, look around. At this point you can see the question on their minds as if it is imprinted on their faces. “Are we there yet? How much farther until we get there?”
I feel like one of those kids sometimes and maybe you are in that backseat with me. As God drives me through my life, I shuffle thoughts, shuffle identities, and argue with those around me. I can almost hear God saying: “Don’t make me turn this life around. There’s no telling where we’ll end up.” I play for a while and I’m happy. I even sing along with the radio from time to time but not in front of people. God pulls out pleasant moments to distract me along the way: purple flowers, games of peek-a-boo with my baby girl, sunny days to play outside. In the meantime, He drives along, steering me in the right direction for everything He wants to show me and to give me in life. I sleep, wake up, and ask Him if we’re there yet. I’m lucky He has so much patience.
I want to have that kind of patience. There is a type of passenger I would like to be but a few others describe me more accurately. Sometimes I wake from sleep, look around and I don’t recognize my surroundings. In times like these I want to pull out my map to show God where to go. I’m learning slowly that God doesn’t need my help. When He says that everything is under control, I’m learning to rest assured that everything IS under control. I might have a map of the city. My map might even get us somewhere. I might even like where it gets us. But, God has a map of the world. He knows every stop we will make and knows every place He intends for us to stop. He has it mapped out and it isn’t included on my small section of the map. When I pull out my map and try to help He gently tells me to lean back again. I’m thankful that He has more patience than I do. If I’m smart I listen and lean back and enjoy the ride but sometimes I feel like the teen in the backseat wearing a walkman to drain out God’s voice. Noise is running so quickly into my ear that I hardly notice anything around me. Sometimes the noise sounds something like this: I-need, I-want, Did-I, Have-I, Could-you, Mama, Please, Take-me, Are-you, You’re not good enough, What are you doing? Where do I fit in? I try to please everyone at once and inadvertently drown out God’s voice. Maybe you play this music too. It comes from every angle. All these distractions keep our minds from the most important voice: the voice of God.
I want to be less like these three passengers and more like a loving wife in the passenger seat happy to spend time with my One true Love. I want to sit back and trust that we’re going where I need to go. Some days I do feel that way. When I’m grounded in His word I feel at peace. It’s as if God says to me: “It’s okay dear, you sleep for a while, I have everything under control.” When I wake from this sleep, I feel well rested. God has in fact said just these words in Matthew 6:25 when Jesus said: “therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” I feel relieved that I don’t have to worry. He goes on to say in 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When I include God in my day and strive to be more like Him the day runs more smoothly. When it hits a bump, such as an argument with my husband I stop quickly and ask forgiveness.
No matter where you are in the journey, God still has control as long as you have allowed Him into your life. If you’re impatient, ask Him for patience and trust that He’ll give it. If you find yourself trying to control, pray that He’ll help you surrender control to Him. If you’re distracted, take off the Walkman for a while, pull out the bible and spend time with Him. Stop to listen to Him speak. Keep moving towards the goal of truly enjoying the ride. It helps me to remember the moments He offers as pleasant distractions. The following are moments from my list; maybe your list is similar:
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· Blowing bubbles in the front yard
· Lying out looking at clouds or at stars
· Picking flowers for my mom
· Receiving flowers from my husband
· Watching my baby girl sleep
· Hearing her say mama for the first time
· Walking barefoot in the grass
· Learning to ride my bicycle
· Reading a good book
· Sitting in a tree in the yard
· Climbing rocks
· Chasing and catching fireflies
· Letting the fireflies that I caught go
· Chasing my brothers around the yard
· Kissing my husband before he goes to work
· Feeling my baby’s fingers curl around my own
When I doubt God, I contemplate this list. It reminds me that He wants what is best for me, that He is in control, and that everything will work out perfectly in the end. I imagine Him shaking His head each time I pull out my map to try to help and thinking: “Here we go again.” He sends me one of these thoughts to serve as a distraction and continues driving. Just for today, I hope to put away the map before He has to send thoughts to distract me. I will think about Jesus saying: “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (NIV) in Matthew 6:34 and I will focus on this moment. I will pray: |
Lord, I don’t know where I’ll end up next week, much less five or ten years from now. I realize it might not even be on my map and that’s okay. Help me learn to trust You each step of the way. Help me lean back and enjoy the ride You are taking me on. Amen.